the summer of love
by deprived
Summary: zim goes to summer camp


summer the summer of love by blink   
[home][1] - [email][2]

Here is my newest offering to the altar of Zim. 

Zim sat in class,tapping his finger on his desk and counting the wrinkles on Ms. Bitters face. He was up to one billion four thousand thirty nine when the bell rang. 

The children started to run out when Ms. Bitters stood up. She scowled and said "I know it's your summer vacation but try not to learn anything new. I don't want to have to erase your minds again when you come back." 

The children all ran out of the room leaving Zim sitting in his desk with a pensive look on his green face. "Umm...Ms. Bitters. What is this summer vacation?" he asked. "It's a time where children run wild on the streets of the city like a plague of rats. Sometimes they become so frenzied that they consume one another...Ha... ha...ha...AHAHAHAHA!" . 

He walked outside and noticed the children had all gathered into groups and were talking excitedly with each other. "Bitters was right....they are like rats...dirty....dirty...rats." He snickered then walked over to Gaz who was playing her game slave. 

"Saaaay.....ummm...Gaz...do you happen to know what human children do on this 'summer vacation' ?" he asked,smiling innocently. 

Gaz looked up from her game scowling. "They usually go to summer camp because their parents can't stand even a minute alone with them so they ship them off to band camp where they take your game slave away and make you play the clarinet even though you hate the clarinet but then you burn the camp down and noone suspects you because they never suspect the poor innocent little girl." She smiled at Zim and he slowly backed away. 

After arriving home he submerged to his lair where he found Gir smearing the floor with peanut butter. 

"Gir! What aaaaare you doing?" 

"Making the floor better master. See...if there is peanut butter on the floor then it will be all peanut buttery and you can lick your feet and taste the gooey goodness! " 

"I don't have time for this Gir! I need to find a 'summer camp'"   
  
"What's a summer camp?" 

"I believe it is a prison for earth children. These humans send their young there so to appear human I must attend one." 

"Ohhh master! It sounds like fun! Can I go?" 

"No." 

The next day Zim found a group of children about to board a bus bound for camp Shokomama. He silently slipped in with the group and they all went on the bus. When they were seated a large man stood up. "Hi kids! I am Fred and I'll be your counselor for the summer! We are going to have tons and tons of fun fun fun! Now let's all sing the camp Shokomama theme song!" 

Everyone started singing loudly and off key. Zim shut his eyes and hoped his brain wouldn't explode. By the time they arrived at camp Zim was ready to kill each and every person on the bus. 

They got off and Zim looked around,squinting. "Soooo...this is a 'summer camp'. Primitive! I should have no trouble...oooh no trouble at all." 

Fred smacked him on the back. "Your a wood chuck!" 

"No...you are quite mistaken.I am a perfectly normal human...yes..perfectly normal." 

"You joker! Now come on! I'll show you to your new home!" Fred grabbed Zim's arms and dragged him to an old dilapidated building. A sign on the front of the building said 'Wood Chucks'. Zim and the other campers went inside and chose their bunks. Zim chose the one closest to the door in case he had to make a quick escape. 

He looked around and saw that the other campers had gathered into a sort of huddle and were whispering amongst themselves. One of them pointed at him and the whispering grew louder. Zim looked around,feeling paranoid. Maybe this 'camp' was really an elaborate trap. Maybe they were planning to dissect him and put him on display in a museum where stupid humans would come and point and gawk at him. A curly haired boy broke from the group and approached Zim. 

"Why do you have green skin?"   
  
"It's a skin condition." 

The boy nodded and went back to the group. The whispering started again. After a couple of minutes Zim yelled "IT'S A SKIN CONDITION!" The children looked startled and then they all went to their prospective bunks. 

He couldn't sleep at all that night. It was so noisy! Hooting,beeping,groaning,knocking, and growling. Zim slammed his head against the side of his bed. "Why can you not be SILENT!" he yelled. The noises stopped and he went to sleep. 

He awoke to the sounds of cheerful singing and laughing. "This 'camp' is the most VILE,DISGUSTING,IDIOTIC place on this entire planet!" The children stared at him. Fred smiled and said "Ohhhh...someone needs a hug! Come on kids! Group hug!"   
The kids descended on Zim like a swarm of locusts. Zim tried frantically to get away but they caught him before he reached the door. 

"Noooo....NOOOO....NOOOOO!" 

When they were finished Zim stood in the middle of the room,shivering. He feared he would never be clean again. 

"Okay kids! Let's go! We are going to have so much fun!" Fred said cheerfully and he led the children out. 

That night Zim and his fellow campers sat around a large fire. Fred handed Zim a stick and a marshmallow. Zim looked quizzically at it. "What is this?" 

"You've never roasted a marshmallow before? Push the stick into the marshmallow and put it over the fire." Fred said. 

Zim looked at the marshmallow. If he squinted at it it kind of looked like Dib. Zim laughed and speared the marshmallow over and over again. "Take that Dib! And that....and that...and that!" Then he thrust it into the fire, giggling as he watched it melt and burn. "Muhahahaha! Feel my wrath Dib! Your soft gooey insides are melting and you can do nothing about it! Nothing! Ha! HAHAHAHA! HAAAAA!" 

Fred tapped him on the shoulder." I think it's about done now Zim" Zim scowled at him and pulled out the marshmallow. It had melted to nothing. He stared at it for a second then started to laugh until the children started singing camp songs..then he screamed. The screams could be heard for miles around. 

Three weeks later Zim stood in his front yard. The last few weeks had been torture. They had led him into the woods for a 'hike'. In the woods he was attacked by a bear and a very large black bird. Then they had made him eat 'weenies' until he ran screaming away. And the singing. Always with the singing. Every second of every day there was the singing, Zim shuddered at the memory. 

He walked into his living room and sighed in relief. He fell on the floor and stayed there,groaning. About an hour later Gir arrived. 

"Your home! Look master! I found some of your friends!" 

Zim looked up and saw that it was the campers from his cabin. They started singing the camp song and Zim just snapped. 

"Ooohhh no my friends! This is my house! And in my house there is no SINGING! Destroy them!" The garden gnomes turned towards the children and started shooting at them. They screamed as their clothes and hair were singed. 

"Run little monkeys! Ruuuuunnn! Feel my DOOM!" Zim laughed as they ran away. 

The next day he say in his desk at skool. Miss Bitters looked better than ever and that urin smell didn't bother him as much as it had before. 

"Now we will learn why all of you are doomed to a life of endless mediocrity ending in your slow agonizing deaths..." 

As Miss Bitters droned on and on Dib leaned over and said. "So Zim...what did you do for your summer vacation? Enslave a few humans? Try to take over the world?" 

"No...I went to summer camp just like every other normal human worm baby." 

"Ohhh....well I bet you went to some sort of alien summer camp...because your an alien..." 

"Ohhh Dib....you poor poor fellow...yes I enjoyed my time at summer camp. It was very.....pleasant. Look I made a matter propulsion ray from a pine cone." Zim showed Dib what looked like a pine cone with a spot of white paint on it and laughed. 

end 

   [1]: http://www.envy.nu/invader
   [2]: mailto:blink@access-time.com



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